Archive for October, 2010

Pay Attention

I decided this morning on my way to work that I would share a story that not many know.

When I was growing up there were many times that I seriously considered ending my life because I was different, or because I felt unloved, or perhaps because I didn’t know what was coming next.  The scariest of them all actually didn’t happen that long ago….

Because of a broken heart I found myself walking around the city not knowing what to do next.  I started thinking of everything that was wrong in my life and felt it out-weighed everything that was good.  I remember calling my mom and crying for over an hour.  She helped me calm down some but I couldn’t shake that feeling of total dispair.

Now at this same time there was another person sitting in their house across town wondering why she was at home on a Friday night doing nothing.  As she glanced at facebook she noticed a message that was clearly a cry for help.  Pollo Del Mar immediately began texting, calling, emailing – everything she could to get my attention.  Every message was the same…….”Where do you live?  I am coming to pick you up!”

Pollo came to my house and picked me up.  We drove for a while, sat and talked even went and had Denny’s.  Although I had known Pollo for quite some time at this point her and I had never sat and talked to the extent that we did that night.

Now granted, I was not a teen at this time, but the feeling of “no way out” was real and IS real for so many people!  I urge everyone to PAY ATTENTION!!!  If it weren’t for my mom and the amazing Pollo del Mar I would not be here today to share this story.  AND trust me I have had such an amazing life – who would want to give it up!!

Pay attention to those around you – sometimes it is the smallest thing they are doing as a cry for help.  Pollo saw mine and helped sooo much…….

Love each other, hold each other and never forget that life is what you make it!  You are LOVED by someone – and it only takes one!!!

Guess What!?!

 

You know how you sit in your room afraid someone will find out that you are “different”? – Guess what – They do find out and you will be ok!

You know how you play make believe every afternoon alone in your room with your stuffed animals? – Guess what – When you are older you will play make believe for hundreds of people and they will chant your name!

You know how sometimes you hear people calling you names at school? – Guess what – One day you will use that as motivation to help someone in need!

You remember how people reach out and help you when you need something? Guess what – Soon you will do that for others by raising money for charities that help others!

You know hoe you are scared that no one will love you the way you are? Guess what – They will, and already do!  Be yourself and the love will overwhelm you!

You know how your mom always tells you she loves you unconditionally?  Guess what – She is telling the truth!  You will go through a rough spot, but she LOVES you!

You know how you wonder if it will ever get better? – Guess what – IT DOES GET BETTER!

Defying Gravity

Last night at my weekly performance at Marlena’s Bar in San Francisco I performed a number that has been in my head for a very long time.  In previous months my daughter, Victoria Glass, and I have performed the sentimental song For Good (from Wicked) for the crowd and it is always a pleaser.  This time we tackled the high emotion of Defying Gravity.

Now you may wonder why this drag queen is rambling on about a number from a drag show.  I always try to perform things that say something……Defying Gravity has a message in it that is so strong and really is the theme of the Broadway smash hit.  It talks about not letting anything get you down.  In our current world and climate this is extremly important to remember.  NOTHING should ever hold us back or bring us down from reaching for our goals and dreams.

My favorite line in the song is…..

I’m through accepting limits
”cause someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I’ll never know!
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love I guess I’ve lost
Well, if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost!

This is soooooo true.  So as you go about your day and get ready to start your work week – please remember – It doesn’t matter if you are a good witch or a bad witch you still can Defy Gravity in your life!  You can do it by bubble, broom or any other way – Just Do It!

Crowns, Gowns and Dreams for a Community….

I was standing in a small room after they all left with my campaign manager feeling like I had just gotten kicked in the stomach.  I thought I had prepared myself for that moment – but I realize now nothing could really prepare you quite enough. I turned and faced the wall and felt numb.  George came up and tried to comfort me and talked to me about what we had done, what we had accomplished as a team.  After some tears, hugs and some pushing we walked out of the small room and on to continue the rest of our lives……..

This is what happened two weeks ago.  I have been taking the time to absorb and watch the people around me these last few weeks.  I have experienced some additional upsets – the loss of a relationship, the loss of a loved one to complications of HIV and just a very hectic schedule at work.  But I can say that I feel stronger now then I ever have before.  There are times and even whole days that I feel I am falling apart and then I look around me and I see what has been built.

When I set out almost two months ago to try to become the next Grand Duchess of San Francisco I did it because I believed in an organization, but more importantly for the community it serves.  George Langford, my campaign manager, and I never lost sight of the community…..toward the end of the campaign we even began chanting – “Live, Laugh, Love – Community”.  I was not worried about the crown – I wanted to serve the community…..

The fantastic George Langford and myself

And serving the community is exactly what I will do!  I will continue raising money for organizations that need help.  I am currently working on a project for The Trevor Project (the country’s leading organization trying to prevent teen suicide).  I am also working on many other individual projects with the Haus of Coxxx that everyone will see coming soon.

I am proud!!!  I am proud of what came of this.  I don’t know that it could have worked out any better.  I gained respect. I gained one of the best friends I have had in my life.  I was able to watch the Haus of Coxxx grow stronger and more unified!  I gained LOVE – the greatest of all – I LOVE our community and the people in it and I will do everything in my power to help people in need.

I may not have gotten a crown – but I got soooo much more!